Ban the Bible!


My name is Veritas Honesto, PhD. I am the leader of W.A.T.E.R which stands for We Are The Ever Righteous.

Our goal is to eliminate all evidence of slavery in the world since the dawn of humanity. We believe all Confederate statues and pictures should be removed from public displays and that private displays of such statues and pictures should be cause for the elimination of public funds for the private institutions (such as private schools and private museums) showing such statues and pictures.

We also believe that statues of anyone who had slaves in the past such as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin and famous people such as Teddy Roosevelt who made indigenous peoples feel bad and Franklin Roosevelt who enslaved Japanese Americans during World War II  (I could add many more!) should never have any statues or pictures celebrating them in public places and that private showing of such statues and pictures would mean the cutting off of any public funds for those private institutions. We would recommend strong protests of such institutions, perhaps even ones where we wear our ski masks.

***Christopher Columbus should never have his name said even at Italian functions.

But these sanctions do not go far enough in W.A.T.E.R’s view. There are so many incidents of slavery among different types of people, yes, even here in the Americas.

Let us examine a specific book and the movement based on that awful book. I am speaking about the bible, a book that not only condones slavery but even has laws for such abuse of human beings—a book that must be destroyed. The Jewish Torah contains laws regarding how to handle slaves; some stayed in slavery for about seven years (usually Hebrew slaves) but non-Hebrew slaves were slaves for life.

Christians believe in what they call the Old Testament books, which are essentially the Torah and the Jewish scriptures (with some minor changes here and there), which, as I already stated, contains guidelines for slavery. Nowhere in the New Testament is slavery condemned by Jesus Christ, who many Christians believe is God, or by any of the Gospel writers. Slavery was acceptable to those Christians. It was acceptable to Jews. It was acceptable to Muslims too. 

Do not be fooled by biblical apologists who claim that “servant” and “slave” have different meanings in the bible. There are no nuances to those two words; they are synonyms. Slavery flourishes in the bible. In fact, in many passages God condemns people into slavery.

So what should we do to those who use this book as the bedrock of their belief system?

Ÿ ***No churches or temples that owe their allegiance to the bible (in any of its forms) should receive tax exemptions unless they publically renounce the book and to show their love of non-slavery, they must have mass burnings of bibles

Ÿ ***Catholic, Protestant and Jewish hospitals should receive no public funds

Ÿ ***The bible should be banned in all public libraries and public schools

Ÿ ***Any statues, symbols or quotes from the bible should be outlawed on public property

Ÿ ***Christmas should no longer be celebrated as a national holiday

Ÿ ***No schools or public libraries should be closed for any religious holiday

Ÿ ***Revoke tax exemption status to all religious institutions that rely on the bible

And what about areas still practicing slavery? There are now about 25 to 40 million slaves in the world; although just about every country claims they no longer use the practice. Any area that still allows slavery should be punished.

W.A.T.E.R would be happy to send our ski masked legions to such countries to teach them in a non-violent way about human rights, although violence might break out.

But slavery goes even deeper than this. Too many Americans celebrate the people they call “Native Americans” who were immigrants who came to the north and south continents earlier than the Europeans. Such foolishness! Such ignorance!

Native North and South Americans used to enslave each other; some slaves would work, some would be sacrificed to the gods after being viciously tortured. Some of the slaves would be eaten during religious rituals.

When black slavery was brought to the continent by Europeans, Native Americans happily owned black slaves and participated in the black slave trade. They even sold other Native Americans not of their particular tribe into slavery!

What should be done with these people?

Ÿ ***No tribes who participated in the slave trade should be given public funds or public schools or hospitals, etc., unless they renounce their slave trading heritage

Ÿ ***No statues of prominent Native Americans of the slave era should be allowed on public property.

Ÿ ***Native Americans must condemn their slave-owning pasts.

The African slave trade went on for centuries, long before any Europeans set foot on the continent. Many African kingdoms sold members of other tribes to the Europeans to be brought to “civilization.” Those kingdoms must renounce their slave trade and ask for forgiveness. No aid should be given to these countries unless they destroy all vestiges of their slave-trading past. Those areas still practicing slavery should be protested.

What else should be done?

Ÿ ***African-Americans must renounce all areas of Africa that engaged in slavery.

Ÿ ***African-Americans must find another name to call themselves since most of them came from slave owning and selling countries.

Now what about Europeans who may be the biggest villains in history? What about the Asians? What about every single human being on planet Earth that came from cultures that practiced slavery – which means probably every single human being?

W.A.T.E.R will happily picket all of them! Our ski masks are ready! We are ready, willing and able to protest all of this everywhere. Down with statues! Down with offending pictures! Down with the bible! Down with religion! Down with all cultures that practiced slavery!

Frank Scoblete’s latest books are I Am a Dice Controller: Inside the World of Advantage-Play Craps, Confessions of a Wayward Catholic and I Am a Card Counter: Inside the World of Advantage-Play Blackjack. Available from, Kindle, Barnes and Noble, and at bookstores.

3 thoughts on “Ban the Bible!”

  1. You might do as my religious leader did (when I was a teen; he’s now deceased) and refer to the, um, “obsolete” (sic) portions as “parts of the Bibble.” The good stuff was in the Bible, a phraseology used for our goyisha buddies (g)

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