Tag: Facebook

My Everest of Annoyances

I am annoyed. Most of these annoyances are petty. I admit that. They itch like mosquito bites.

  • I am an attractor of mosquitoes and these annoying creatures leave my skin burning in the aftermath of annoying bites.
  • Loud leaf blowers that break up the still of the day and overpower beautiful bird calls annoy me.
  • People driving around my neighborhood in annoyingly loud cars or on annoyingly loud dirt bikes annoy me.
  • The annoying jingle of the ice cream truck calling forth hordes of annoying children annoys me.

My petty annoyances have grown into an Everest of a mountain. But a mountain is still a mountain be it grown by pettiness or not.

  • I love baseball. I’ve been a Yankees fan since I was six years-old after meeting Joe DiMaggio. I even like this year’s shortened season, but what truly annoys me is the fact that they are now putting up commercials as the game progresses.

You are watching a tight moment and bam! on the now split-screen you have an annoying commercial and the ballgame simultaneously. This is ruining my viewing of the game.

I set my DVR to tape the first hour or so and then I watch it on tape, fast forwarding through the commercials as the DVR keeps recording. The fact that the game is an hour behind doesn’t matter. I have no idea of what happened, so it is as if I am watching it fresh. But now those annoying split screen commercials have brought my annoyance level sky high.

  • I do not like women, adult women, who pretend they are little girls. (“Oo, I’m a widdle gurl.”) The first one of these I met was in college. She was a big girl, cute, but large, big boned as they used to say, and she affected this widdle gurl She sat next to me in a writing class, taught by Rod Serling no less, and she’d drive me nuts when she asked her widdle gurl questions. I figured Serling would write a story where some monster killed her by chopping out her annoying vocal cords. Didn’t happen.

Then two days ago a widdle gurl with tufts of grey hair came by to talk to my neighbor. I couldn’t understand exactly what she was saying because she was wearing a mask, but she was saying it in annoying widdle-gurl talk. Ubie doobie wa wa wa. I secretly hoped the annoying ice cream truck making the rounds would run her over.

  • On Facebook, it annoys me when posters tell me to share this or that annoying post of theirs or one they had reposted. Some actually challenge you: “Repost this if you dare.” A lot of times it has to do with religion, “Jesus loves us. Share this if you agree.” “Heaven is real. Share this and God will save you.” “Mary has appeared in this tree stump or a potato chip. Share if you love our Virgin Mother.” I didn’t share any of these.

The political ones are truly annoying when someone commands you to share an annoying analogy, “So and so is Hitler! Share this to save America!” I didn’t share it.

“Dr. So-and-So stated that COVID-19 is not real, vaccines are unhealthy, and people should not wear masks. Share this to alert your friends!”

Well, I looked up Dr. So-and-So. She also believes that incubus and humans have sex during the night and that there are lizard-men in the Deep State. I didn’t share it.

Actually, I do not repost any of these. I have no problem sharing posts I like, but, let’s face it, these people are annoying.

  • How about those car commercials? Just about all of them, just about all the time run special sales or events. Does any car dealership not offer continuous discounts all year long? Does anyone actually pay full price for a car? Not according to these commercials. “It’s our get-ready-for-summer-time special offer!” “It’s our fall, winter sale!” I surmise that the real price of the car is the sale price, and the phony sale price is simply the basis for an annoying commercial.

If you are going to give a discount on any one of the 365 very special days of the year, then make it a discount of the discounted price. And please silence that annoying actress pitching your annoying product.

Like my annoying Everest, I must handle it. Why? Because it’s there!

Frank Scoblete’s books are available on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, e-books and at bookstores. Receive Frank’s articles in your email. Join up today!

Unsocial Media

I’ve been called a communist, a socialist, a Nazi, a Trumpite, a Trumparine. a never-Trumper; a lefty, a right winger, a UFO denier, a tool of the Dr. Fauci and Bill Gates’ conspiracy, a lover of Hillary Clinton, a Republican, a Democrat, a disgrace to Italians, an idiot, a moron, a cretin, an enemy of Our Lord, an anti-Christian, an atheist, an evolutionist, a destroyer of America, a slave owner and today’s most powerful expletive: racist.

I am a liberal tool to expand the Democratic tax thefts, but I must be a greedy Republican, because I think it is a good thing to make money.

My friends of all political persuasions, religions, non-religions and colors have been attacked. I especially love the Jews who are trying to destroy the world (for various reasons) and have been since they came into existence when Adam and Eve ate the apple (it was a fig folks, not an apple). I am also a dumb figgest.

I support the Asians who are taking over the country. I want China to take over because I hate Caucasians. I am a white supremacist, also a traitor to my white race, a beastialist, a privileged white male even though I once lived in a cold water flat for six years as a child and started working at the age of nine. I am a misogynist. I do not know anything about the vagina. I am a subjugator of women. I must have a small penis.

I do not obviously know how to read the secret messages of the Illuminati or understand that Sandy Hook never happened. I am a Catholic; an anti-Catholic, an evangelical, an evil denier of the plain creationist truth and I evidently have no common sense. How can I deny the Kennedy conspiracy? I am a jerk because I don’t think face masks kill people or that Covid-19 is a hoax. I am an “N” lover.

I am probably a Satanist and denier of the eternal truths of the bible.   I am an anti-vaxxer. A populist. An elitist. A sexist. A feminist lackey and probably a rapist. I don’t think GMOs are unhealthy and that means I am “as stupid as an idiot.” I should be ashamed of myself because I don’t think the word “organic” means what a lot of people think it means. I am a sad example of a man who can’t figure out that the world is actually flat.

Therefore, I am never going onto social media again. Well, at least for the next few months, as it is a scary world of hyper-sensitive, tense, threatening, and angry extremists. For them, lashing out is a relatively calm behavior.  Threatening bodily harm is par for their course if you attempt to engage them in discussions.

You might think that I debated these ploppies over the course of the last month on the weird and wacky world of social media but you would be mistaken. The most I did was ask for real evidence of whatever claims a person made. A simple, “prove it,” could bring down the house as most people thought their arguments were self-evident. But I became the monster who dared ask for reasons to support their beliefs. Yikes, I never should have done that!

Now, I am taking a break from unsocial media.

Frank Scoblete’s website is www.frankscoblete.com. His books are available on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, kindle, e-books and at bookstores.

Scobe’s 10 Commandments of Facebook

 

Facebook has been good for me. I have received hundreds of emails and public posts from my former students who told me in no uncertain terms that I did “the job” as a teacher. I have had readers of my books and articles tell me I have “done the job” as a writer as well. And my wife tells me when I take out the garbage that I have “done the job.” (I’m only kidding; she takes out the garbage.)

But Facebook does have its irritations.

Here are the 10 Commandments that you should follow, which will probably make most—and possibly all—of your Facebook friends happier and grateful.

Commandment #1: Thou shalt not tell people to “like and share if you agree.” Some posts go as far as to test people’s friendship by whether the person shares the post or not. If people want to share something you posted, they will without being told. Sharing or not sharing is not a measure of friendship.

Commandment #2: Thou shalt not try to spread “the word” because many of us don’t want to have words spread upon us. There are just too many “words” from heaven’s “wordsmiths” and you end up preaching to the choir, not the rest of us.

Commandment #3: Thou shalt not post that money, or good times, or magic moments are coming to us through angels, God, astrology or any new-age system unless you back it up with a guarantee and concrete evidence. Also if none of this happens to your friends give them your account numbers at the bank so they can get something out of your predictions. By the way, skeptics are doing nicely without any of these benedictions and predictions.

Commandment #4: Thou shalt not write posts that are hysterical; either politically (“Trump is Hitler!” “Hillary is a pedophile!”), religiously (“The world is about to end! Repent or be damned!”), conspiratorially (“The world is being run by a powerful secret group of people who have run it since the year 1300!” “The World Trade Center was blown up by Mossad!”), or anything truly dripping with anger, fear, despair or any other topics taken to such extremes that the person creating these extremities seems to be unhinged.

Commandment #5: Thou shalt not let your Facebook friends know too much about your problems. Yes, feel free to write about births and marriages and achievements of children, relatives, friends and you; and yes, tell us all about interesting trips and humorous times you’ve had. Come on, no one is a fan of neurotic people going on and on and on about their personal or mental problems. One “going on” is interesting and worthy of note (okay, maybe two) but 17 thousand “going on” posts are just too, too, too damn much. Thou shalt feel free to post about illness or other challenges in your life or in the lives of family and friends to ask for thoughts, prayers or assistance. Oh, yes, please don’t tell us “I’m really very shy” when you have blurted every thought you should reserve for your psychiatrist.

Commandment #6: Thou shalt know thyself. Don’t post saying, “I never write anything political, but I couldn’t resist this,” when 90 percent of your posts are political.  Read your own posts and learn about yourself.

Commandment #7: Thou shalt post no more than four pictures of an event (or pet) so that your friends can view them without further clicking. You must not open the possibility that your Facebook friends will get lost in a sea of photos and never get back to the original page.

Commandment #8: Thou shalt not call someone with whom you’re disagreeing any repulsive names. You can’t win a debate by calling the other person an idiot, a moron, a bed bug, a ploppy, a turd and so forth. If it feels good to say it, then you’ve said the wrong thing.

Commandment #9: Thou shalt not post links to “news” articles unless you are sure the articles are about events that actually took place.

Commandment #10: Thou shalt not post more than one picture of food. This is a commandment to help all of us fatties. Please, have a heart!

[Read Confessions of a Wayward Catholic which is available at Amazon.com, kindle, Barnes and Noble, and bookstores.]